


The Kink's In The Table

by PiraticalNonsense



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, You know you've wanted to do something like this at some point in your life.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiraticalNonsense/pseuds/PiraticalNonsense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is really wrong with that stupid table in the Great Hall.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kink's In The Table

Hagrid let out a breath and a great gusty cough making a few heads turn to look at him. Professor Potter, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, leaned over and with concern asked if he was okay to which the half-giant gave a very short and tight nod. Something was obviously bothering him, and Harry had to force himself to turn back to his plate. As dinner wore on, Harry began to notice a quickening of breath. No one else would have heard it but Professor Snape had he been there. Interestingly enough the man was absent which was very rare these days. He always seemed to show up for dinner, sitting in the farthest chair at the end of the table with Hagrid next to him and Harry next to Hagrid.

Watching Hagrid however, Harry realised he was not making a fuss, and was doing his best to appear normal, so Harry did his best to follow his friend's lead and ignore the strained breathing.It was halfway through desert that Harry noticed Hagrid had stopped eating enirely, he was just sitting there with a very dazed expression on his face. Red covered his cheeks and he was holding his fork and knife in a death grip.

"Hagrid? Are you okay?" Harry asked quietly, causing the man to jump a bit in his seat. A muffled curse and a muffled cough made Harry turn his head, no one at the table seemed particularly vexed or concerned, and Harry realised that it come from the half-giant or at least his direction. The man in question was wiping his face with a napkin and was beet-red. Once again Harry's efforts to help were rebuked and the meal wore on. 

After the rice pudding had been devoured the students and staff began filtering out, and soon it was only Hagrid and Harry.

"Alright, Hagrid, what's wrong? Are you sick?"

The man looked over at him with a wild expression, as if he hadn't expected Harry to be there, and maybe he didn't. Did he want Harry to leave? He didn't seem angry when they had started the meal. It had all started with that cough, when he had choked on his food. Did Snape poison him? Oh God. Oh _God_.

"He spiked your food didn't he? That's why he didn't show up for dinner! All those questions last year about foods you like, those were all to make sure he could do this, this, this whatever it is. Don't worry Hagrid, I'm going to take care of this!" Before Hagrid could respond, Harry ran out of the Great Hall, presumably to the Headmaster's office.

After a few moments, a very irate Severus Snape crawled out from underneath the table, clutching his red jaw and occassionally rubbing the bump on his head.

"I'm sorry, Sev'rus, 'e surprised me."

The man gave him a glare that should have turned him to ashes, "You're lucky I didn't accidentily bite it off. You hit my head against the bloody table hard enough. Though I should have expected it, you aren't exactly focused during sex."

"I'm sorry, Sev'rus, I really didn' mean ta." A sly glint passed in his eyes and Snape rose an eyebrow in questioning, "I can make it up to ya."

After a pause, the smirk Hagrid had grown so fond of stole its way across Snape's face, "I'm sure you can."

As Hagrid went to stand, Severus put a hand on his shoulder, "I think we have a more pressing matter."

"Ya sure about that?" Hagrid asked coyly before the patter of running feet brought the Headmaster, Harry, and Minerva McGonagall into the hall, all with intense expressions. Their attention snapped to the trio and Snape sighed. Just loud enough for Hagrid to hear, he said, "How do you plan to explain your odd behaviour, Professor Hagrid?"

The man grinned, "We could just tell 'em the truth."

Snape looked horrified, but Hagrid's statement had been in earshot and Harry's voice rang out with accussing confidence, "What truth?"

Putting his face in his palm, Snape closed his eyes as Hagrid cheerfully called in response, "The kink's in the table!"

**Author's Note:**

> *It's blocking the view.


End file.
